tooth drama

previously on little girls and robots: one, two, three, four, five


Little girl: God, my tooth fell off.

Robot: So young, and already decaying?

Little girl: Oh no, it's normal. anthropologically speaking...

Robot: Booorrring!

Little girl: And then there's the Tooth Fairy. She picks up your fallen teeth from under your pillow, and gives you treasure or candy or something like that.

Robot: And you honestly believe that kind of sh**?

Little girl: Oh, no. But I can't let my mom know. She'd be devastated.

little...you know what i mean

previously on little girls and robots: one, two, three, four

Robot: woah!, I just had a shortcircuit...

Little girl: But you don't have any hair!

Robot: Err... a shortcircuit.

Little girl: Is that like a shortcut?

Robot: Not really.

Little girl: Are there longcircuits?

Robot: No, just short.

Little girl: Is it like an orgasm then?

daily dilemmas

previously on little girls and robots: one, two, three

Little girl singing: Ive got to take it on the othersideeeeee.....Take it on the othersideeeeee

Robot: You shouldn't sing those kind of things...

Little girl: why not?

Robot: It's not for little girls.

Little girl: Why not? It's not PG rated or anything.

Robot: But you do know what it is about, right?

Little girl: Yeah, it's this guy who wants to see the grass on the other side, because there's a stupid saying according to which it would be greener, and so better in every aspect.

Robot: Uh, no. You'll see when you're older.

Little girl: Ah, don't give me that "older" stuff. Tell me now!

Robot: I'll just say this: men saying they want to take it on the other side is the reason why most ladies end up alone.

the little girl and the robot

previously on little girls and robots: one, two

Little girl: So, what else do you have in that inventory? Do you have a pet?

Robot: What's a pet?

Little girl: It's a small animal you keep locked up lying to yourself that it's in its best interest, feeding him crap and forgetting to clean up the crap it produces, meanwhile torturing it and interpreting its squeaks as happy songs.

Robot: Well, there was this rat once...

Little girl: Really? was it cute? everything is cute when it's still alive!

Robot: Would you like to know the story?

Little girl: ya.

Robot: There was this little rat, cute, I guess. I put it in a box.

Little girl: Sooo? did it make little babies? Did it sleep in your lap? Did it -cuuuuute- eat electrical cables?

Robot: I don't know, it never came back out...

the little girl and the man

Man: Hey little girl, do you want candy?

Little girl: Are you Belgian?

Man: Uh, no.

Little girl: Darn, I wanted to try that before you were extinct.

Man: I think my phone is ringing. I'll just..

Little girl: Yeah, yeah, just run away. Y'all do that, coward little bastards, go bake your own egg you prick!

the lady and the little girl

Little girl: UUUh, what are those for?

Lady: Well there's a period in every woman's life when..

Little girl: Bullshit. Do they float?

Lady: I don't...

Little girl: Can I borrow one?

Lady: I...

Little girl: Oh, come on! pleeeeeaaaaseeeeeee...

Lady: You can't d...Put that awaaa...

Little girl: There! I won't get dirt on it, I promise!

- faint-

the little girl singing

"I am preeeetty, oh so preeeetty...
I am preeeetty scary."

the little girl and the little boy

The little girl: I can't play with you.

The little boy: Why not?

The little girl: Mom said I shouldn't.

The little boy: I'm not gonna assault you.

The little girl: Oh, it's not that at all.

The little boy: Then what?

The little girl: Well, my 23rd pair of chromosomes in every cell has two X chromosomes, and you have an X and a y. And the "y" is shrinking, so you won't have it anymore, and you will cease to exist. So why bother with men at all?

The little boy: Oh yeah, and who are you going to play with? Robots?

The little girl: Umm... yeah!

the same robot and the little girl, now a bit taller

previously on the subject

Little girl, now a bit taller: Robots don't have feelings.

Robot: Why not?

Little girl, now a bit taller: Well, you must have stuff to have feelings.

Robot: Like what?

Little girl, now a bit taller: Flesh and bones, for instance.

Robot: Like this piece of decaying goat?

Little girl, now a bit taller: Ewww, where'd you get that?

Robot: From the inventory.

Little girl, now a bit taller: What else is in there?

Robot: Everything. Well except feelings.

Little girl, now a bit taller: That's sad...

Robot: Oh, I wouldn't know.

the little girl and the robot

Little Girl: What are you doing here? Robots shouldn’t be in tales…

Robot: Why not?

Little Girl: Robots are evil and they destroy things.

Robot: Ah, right then. Which way is the exit?

Little Girl: I don’t know.

Robot: Hmm. Then can I come with you until we find it?

Little Girl: I guess. Maybe you can help me with my dream.

Robot: What’s that?

Little Girl: I want to be famous.

Robot: What’s that?

Little Girl: It’s when people know your name.

Robot: What’s your name?

Little Girl: Lil.

Robot: Ok Lil. That’s it? Are you famous now?

Little Girl: Well, umm, no. When you’re famous you get to go to fancy restaurants, and eat.

Robot: What’s that?

Little Girl: When you put stuff in your mouth.

Robot: Sounds disgusting.

Little Girl: It really isn’t. Well, except broccoli.

Robot: What’s that?

Little Girl: It’s very small green trees you have to eat so you can grow bigger.

Robot: Do you have any?

Little Girl: God, no. Sooo, what do you do?

Robot: I don’t know.

Little Girl: What’s your name? That might help you get started.

Robot: I don’t know.

Little Girl: Didn’t your mother tell you that?

Robot: Well, she said “B”.

Little Girl: Bee? You don’t look like a bee to me. Didn’t she say anything else?

Robot: She got unplugged.

Little Girl: What’s that? Oh, wait, I know. It’s when bands sing their usual songs, but worse. People seem to like it, but it’s probably just to be nice to them so they will sing them right the next time.

Robot: Ah.

Little Girl: Maybe she didn’t say “bee”. She must have said “be”, like “let there be light”.

Robot: Yes, she said “B”.

Little Girl: I knew it!

Robot: Does that make me famous too?

Little Girl: Perhaps. Or then again she might have said “beep”, but didn’t have time to finish it.

Robot: What’s “beep”?

Little Girl: Oh, I can’t say that in front of the kids.